Christmas by The Phone
by CrazyLake42
Summary: Songfic to Good Charlotte's 'Christmas by The Phone.' Umm... I don't know read it.


**Christmas by The Phone**  
  
**Summary: Songfic to Good Charlotte's Christmas by The Phone.  
Rating: PG  
Disclaimer: I don't own Rugrats, and I don't own this song, the dudes in Good Charlotte do!  
A/N: I love this song! I know it's no where near Christmas, but yeah I had to write this songfic! It would not leave me alone, and I might be doing another one in a few months or so. I hope you enjoy it! Now go read...

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**_Another year, another tree  
but this year you won't be with me  
And it don't feel much like christmas  
we used to watched the same old shows  
Sing Social D on the radio  
but it don't feel much like christmas_  
  
Christmas season, a wonderful time of year for everyone. It's full of presents, parties, family, and so much more. Family, I remember when I had a full family; a mother, father, and younger brother. Christmas was our one holilday, we used to do the same things every year. Watch the Dummy Bear christmas special, it never got old. We sing songs off the radio, it wasn't always christmas songs, more like rock.  
  
We still do those things, but one person is missing now. It's been about five years since my father got up and left. I knew it was going to happen, as I grew older, he grew colder. I guess years of inventing, locking himself away in the basement got to him. Or maybe that was his excuse to stay down there all day and night. My mom was devastated when he left, but she said we would be fine.   
  
Even after he left we still did the same old things. Get a tree, and decorate it as a family, laughing and just hanging out. We still watch the Dummy Bear special, and sing songs on the radio. Just like old times, but still there's a hole that needs to be filled in my heart. You're still not here to spend this time with us.  
  
_This used to be my favorite holiday  
My Christmas Eve was filled with dreams   
but you chased them all away_  
  
Now as I sit here, staring at my ceiling, I think back to when you left me; Christmas Eve. I don't know how you could have left on such a special day. One day before my favorite holiday, what the fuck am I saying? A few minutes before it. I used to dream of all the stuff I would get, but when you left they went away. All I could think about was getting you back, I wanted you for Christmas. I wanted my father, the person who raised me, who I thought cared.  
  
_Why did you leave me for Christmas?  
You left me lonely its true  
Could you have waited til New years  
Atleast the year would be through_  
  
Sighing heavily, I walk toward my younger brother's room. Since you left he's been a wreck; barely eats, drinks, all he really does is sleep. He's in this huge depressed state of mind. His once creative brain has been shut down, he's like a walking zombie. Why did you have to go? What did we do wrong?  
  
As I enter his room I put on a fake smile, I can't let him see me weak. This mask I put on is what makes me feel worst. I feel so lonely because I can't talk about this, can't talk about how I feel. Sometimes at night, I cry myself to sleep. Dil looks up at me, his eyes so dead. His face so pale, and his once bright orange, now black.  
  
I have to stay with him for awhile, I can't stand losing him too. I know mom wouldn't be able to handle another lose in her life. She's already weak enough, its so sad to look at my family, especially this time of year.  
  
Why couldn't you have waited until the year was over? Why couldn't you have just told us what was wrong, instead of running away? You could have faced your demons, and we would have helped. I guess we came in to late, I hope you're not as lonely as I am.  
  
_And now the mistletoe's hanging   
for no reason at all  
And all the presents are still wrapped  
But you don't even call_  
  
I stay with my brother, you're son, for a few hours. I let him tell me about everything he's feeling, even though I've heard it a million times. He cries on my shoulder, because of you, because you left us. I guess this is a new tradition between us. Christmas Eve is hard for us, but Christmas day is even harder. This is the hardest time of year.  
  
We hang the mistletoe, and put the presents under the beautifully decorated tree. I don't know why we hang the mistletoe anymore, we don't use it. Mom has no one to kiss under it anymore. She can't seem to move on, she's so lost without you.  
  
I've made a new Christmas day tradition, I sit by the phone. Maybe one year you will decide to call us. Tell us you've made a mistake and come back, but this day is just like the rest. I sit there for hours, waiting and waiting, but there is no phone call. We don't open our presents until the day after, until we are sure you aren't coming home.   
  
_I took a walk to where we go  
There were lights and there were snow  
But it don't feel much like Christmas  
And people ask me how you've been  
I fake a smile and say ok_  
  
At about nine o'clock at night, I walk down the road and toward the Java Lava. We used to always walk down this way, to admire the lights. Snow lightly fell around me, and the lights on the buildings were bright. Even though everything looks like its this wonderful time of the year, it's not. For some reason, it still doesn't feel like Christmas.  
  
My boots crunch down on the snow as I walk toward an empty field. You used to take me here as a kid. We would build snowmans, and have snowball fights. I've been here every Christmas day trying to remember every little thing we did; every laugh we shared. It's getting harder now, the memories are fading.  
  
Falling to the ground, I break down. The pain is getting so hard, and I have no one to talk to. My friends ask me how I've been doing, but I can't seem to tell them. I put on a fake little smile and tell them I've been doing ok. They can't see me weak, no one can see me weak.   
  
_But I don't feel much like Christmas  
You used to be my favorite holiday  
But now you're gone  
I'm all alone_  
  
The ground is so cold, and the tears on my face are freezing. My sobs are breaking the complete silence. I really wish Christmas didn't come this year. I don't feel all Christmas like, I hate this holiday now. I hate this whole fucking month, I hate this whole fucking world now. I still don't understand why this had happened.  
  
I'm hoping I don't have to wonder for the rest of my life, I hope you come back to me. Maybe you can fill this hole in my heart, maybe I won't be as lonely. But at the moment, you are gone, and I don't think you will ever come back. I don't think you care enough to come check on us, you're probably at some bar getting drunk. Getting some from some street corner slut.  
  
Wiping the tears away is useless now, they are always replaced by new ones. I'm so lonely, I'm so confused. Deciding that I have spent enough time here, I get up and head back toward my house. My clothes are wet and really cold, and then I see something that catches my eye. A father and son walking toward me. Both laughing and enjoying the lights, I feel a bit jealous because of them, and I hope the kid holds on to what he has. I hope he doesn't end up all alone, just like me. I really hope his dad doesn't get up and betray his family.  
  
Angerily I turn on my road and walk up my sidewalk. Stopping half-way up I turn toward Phil and Lil's house, there they are in the dining room; eating together. I can see the smiles on their faces, it's like they are taunting me. Feeling a little more pissed I finish the walk up to the sidewalk and enter my house.  
  
_And all I have to say  
Why did you leave me for Christmas?  
You left lonely its true  
Could you have waited til New Years?  
Atleast the year would be through_  
  
It's about ten-thirty when I walk into the house. Mom is crying on the couch and Dil is sitting next to her. They look up at me, my face stained with tears, and my clothes still wet. I shed my jacket and gloves and hang them on the coat holder.  
  
Mom pats the spot next to her and I walk over to her. We sit there in silence for a while. I force out a grin and grab the remote, pushing play the sweet songs of the Dummy Bears fill the room. Mom and Dil are sitting next to me crying silently, I know they are trying not to. And I sit there fighting back tears, the pressure on my eyes are getting really strong, but I can't let them see it. I have to be strong for the family, I have to make them believe everything is fine, and that you might come home soon. That you will walk through the door at any time.  
  
A few tears escape and I hastily wipe them away. I know they saw them, but they won't comment on it. They know that I prefer to keep this mask up, that I will tell them soon. I stare down at the carpeted floor and wonder why you had to leave on this day. Why couldn't you have waited until New Years. The year would have be through, and we could have started over without you.  
  
_And now the mistletoe's hanging  
for no reason at all  
And all the presents are still wrapped  
But you don't even call_  
  
After the show, mom and Dil fall asleep on the couch, curled up together. I take a blanket from the closet and cover them both up. Kissing them both on the cheek I walk over to the kitchen. Thinking that this year would be different, that you will call me this time. I pull up a chair and sit by the phone. It's almost mid-night now, and I know you aren't going to call. You still don't miss us enough to care.  
  
As I'm sitting by the phone, wasting my night, I look over at the two sleeping figures on the couch. I look over at our tree, presents still wrapped, not going to be opened until late tomorrow morning. Above the doorframe is a piece of mistletoe. The leaves a dark green, and the red berries stand out. It makes me so mad to know that it's hanging there for no reason at all.  
  
_Waiting here alone  
Christmas by the phone  
Said I'm waiting here alone  
Spending Christmas by the phone_  
  
A year later, on Christmas day I'm still waiting here by the phone. Mom and Dil sleeping on the couch, same blanket and all. This year however I didn't walk down to the field, I stayed by the phone all day. I had a feeling that you would call this year, but I guess I was wrong. You won't call, you just don't care anymore. But I still believe that one year you will call me, and I'll stay by the phone until you do. I'll spend my Christmas by the phone, just for you, because I still love you, even if you don't love me, even if you don't love us; your family.  
  
**Fin.**

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**A/N: Arg I hate songfics, I suck at writing them... ::sigh:: I hope this didn't suck that bad. Review please? And please no flames, this is like my third songfic... I think. I want to thank everyone who reviewed 'My Last Day.'  
  
Review thanks for MLD:  
  
Spice of Life: Yes your vote and Dani's vote were the reason why I posted. I'm sorry I made you cry! Thanks for the review!  
  
taekrsbass: Hehe glad you loved it buddy. Hope you like this story too! Thanks for the review!  
  
A...D: Hehe thanks! Umm... yeah thanks for the review. I have such a way with words! LMAO  
  
Faerie Kittie: Heh, you change your name a lot! ::grin:: Ok that was random, but yeah thanks for the review and for putting it on your favorites list!  
  
Stalins Inner Child: Heh hope you figure out your password soon! Sorry for making you tear up! Anywho thanks for the review!  
  
Dailynn: Sorry I almost made you cry! Thanks for the review!  
  
Val: Honestly I didn't know I was gonna make if Phil either! Heh, but yeah thanks for the review!  
  
Lala: Hehe! ::attempts to raise eyebrow:: I think mine is broken! LMAO but yeah thanks for the review!  
  
A/N: Fun stuff! Review! Oh and uhh... thanks to Taekersbass and Spice of Life who reviewed RTA! You two rule! Who ever reviewed gets some nice socks! Heh, now go review this little fic and once again no flames please. Peace.  
  
CrazyLake42 **


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